Letter to Andre’s Family

“Andre” was a fellow resident at Baker Lodge. We were very good friends. I wrote this letter to his family shortly after he passed away.

January 12, 1995
Mark R. Keddy,
Baker Lodge, Extended Care Unit,
Quesnel BC

To: Jean A. and Family

DEAR A***  FAMILY,

All of you have been on my mind a lot. I will mail this letter directly to you, Jean, if I don’t happen to see you, Colleen, first. I hope that there is a way to see you all again. I am embarrassed at how many months that I have been at this letter. Sooner or later, I know that I will see you somewhere, perhaps one by one, downtown or in a mall. If any of you feel like giving me a quick or long phone call, I am in the phone book under my own name. The best time to reach me is the early morning {7-9} or early evening when I am usually in my room and near the phone. If you do phone, please let it ring, at least ten times. … I do not want to make a nuisance of myself, but I would like to phone you once in a while, Jean. I do not make it any harder on you, but I have been not only missing Andre, but also you.

For three weeks, the latter half of November plus a few days in December, we had a major redecoration job done. Before they started it, I was wishing that they could pass my room by. … But now so many have said my room is the most pretty room of the Unit. This is mainly due the blue tint on the walls and the door. Each room has its own color scheme, new vertical blinds, wall paper on the window side, new **arborite around dressers and sinks. They moved nine bed residents to two vacant rooms in the old part of the hospital. Then they moved the rest of us residents to different rooms as needed and back again. Although I got very nervous at it at the time, it forced me to makes changes in my book cupboard arrangements that I am glad of now. … And I am not through making changes yet.

During the first week of September, I made the comment that I am hoping for a long dark lonely winter. But it is almost half gone already! As usual, I have a mountain of things to do this winter. And I know that as usual, I will get only a small fraction of it done. … My desire and ambition is always so much greater than my capabilities, but this is what keep me going and free of boredom. … Even more than ever, I need to sort, organize and try to eliminate many things. That long essay on my “Unit Feelings” that I gave you last winter, Jean, was read by many people. Some thought that it was my book, but it was not even the start of it. While I said several important things in it, please do not imagine that all my writings are similar in content and tone.

A letter to my High School Principal

(MR ELLASCHUK WAS MY HIGH SCHOOL PRINCIPAL.  THIS LETTER WAS WRITTEN SHORTLY AFTER HIS RETIREMENT – I GRADUATED IN 1964.)

(A link to a memory page for Mr. Ellaschuk) http://www.shuswapfoundation.ca/docs/mb/ellaschuk.pdf

Sicamous BC, February 21st, 1977.

Dear Mr Ellaschuk,

Hello again.  I think of you so often and over the things that I’d like to tell you.  In recent years, I have had the opportunity to observe groups of handicapped persons whose lives I can’t help compare and contrast with mine.  Many of them live in institutions, without family or outside friends.  They have no formal education and no hope for a better environment, except for a beautiful 8-day summer camp once a year.  The majority are mentally retarded, starved for affection and companionship.  Others are emotionally retarded due to being isolated from the normal world.  Many are – like me – physically handicapped, greater and lesser, with a “normal” or even above-average intelligence, but they are unable to read.  To me, this is sad: not even to know the pleasure of books.  Even if you don’t know the outside world, at least you can read about it.  This is why I’m so grateful for my education.  I will always remember you, Mr Ellaschuk, as being an important part of the best years of my public schooling.  I still get nostalgic about that old Eagle River High.  Sometimes, I’d like to go back to the classroom.  There is something about learning in a group that deeply appeals to me, plus the constant social contact.

Letters to Care Staff, Baker Lodge, Quesnel

LETTERS TO THE STAFF AT BAKER LODGE, QUESNEL, B.C.

Here is a copy of a letter I wrote more than two years ago. But it will give you a sample of some of my feelings. I have many other thoughts on my computer. If you want to, please give me a few things that you are especially interested in, and I may be able to put something together

March 23, 2002

Dear Staff,

I would very much like this letter or part of it to be on the staff bulletin board for a while.

I did most of this letter in late September. But sorry to say, I have allowed one thing after another to interfere with getting back to it. Then I keep correcting, adding, deleting and re-arranging parts.

I am going to try to put the highlights first, then if you have time and are interested in the details, read on, or you could ask me for a copy to loan or keep. As usual, I had hope that this letter would not become long for your sakes, but as you can see, it did not turn out that way.

I want to give you all a special thank you for a very special summer of 1989. Words are not enough to express how much it meant to be able to sleep so many times on the sun deck on the swing couch.

Thank you very much for your understanding of my strange and ongoing fascination of staying up all night and being in bed during the day. May I re-affirm that I am looking forward to continuing this habit three or four times a month. I do this for my own pleasure, and not out of a false or mistaken sense of a work ethic.

Whatever you really think of me now or in the future, if or when we are no longer together, I do hope you will remember some things about me including the following:

[1] I never pretended to be perfect, but try hard to live by a  set of standards

[2] I feel a real need to admit to my mistakes and weaknesses.

[3] I try very hard to obey a rule when given one, even if I at times, chafe on account of it.

[4] I do care about the feelings and concerns of others.

[5] I am truly fond of staff

I try very hard to live by a conscience trained both by a religion and personally. Included in this, is to respect other people’s rights, and feelings, and not to be overly demanding. Being handicapped, it is a constant struggle to avoid. Every time I begin to think that I am doing good in this area, a series of incidents occurs to give a glimpse of how poor I am.

Many of you tease me about various things including my religion. THIS IS O.K! Sometimes it may seems as if I get upset or disapprove depending upon the time, my mood and the source. But, PLEASE! I BEG YOU, DO NOT STOP! Teasing among friends is a form of GENUINE affection, and as I learned to GLADLY accept (since coming to the UNIT), it is a wonderful way to relieve tension. Also it has made me less sensitive and has given me more emotional balance. So, PLEASE! I BEG YOU, DO NOT STOP!

Away From Home Alone – 1957 at GF Strong Rehab

Away from Home Alone – 1957-58 at the G.F.Strong Rehab

During parts of these two years I spent several months at a rehab centre in Vancouver. I learned many things, both practical and mental (attitude). Letters to and from home chronicle these days.

(In editing, we have left the ‘originality’ of Mark’s spelling and phrasing. At the time he was about 13 – Terry)

G.F. Strong Rehabilitation,
Vancouver, B.C.
September 1957

Dearest Family,

How are you all? I am fine but very lonely. I never looking forward to Christmas before. (we never celebrated Christmas but Mark would be home at that time)  I got your card on wed.  How is brother Marshall  Please tell him I going write him when I get time I going with Anne and going to shop tomorrow saturdy  This week sunny had been sunny. I gone out in (it) and read my Watchtower last night.  I read my bible each day.

MONDAY THE 16TH

I am not so lonely because I know everbody now.

TUESDAY

Fourteen persons work with Mark in a week.  Yesterday I and Dennis moved to another room because they are painting our room.  Peter is my buddy and TODDY asked the head nurse if I can stay with him.  Mrs. McEachran said “you had done good job on me”.  My teacher said, “To tell me I’m a good boy”.  I got a new teacher O my she good.  I think the best teacher I ever got except you!